whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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