I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
