I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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