I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
