We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
