SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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