As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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