I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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