Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
