I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
