Whod you bang
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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