Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
