just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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