this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
