Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
