STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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