no, he came in my armpit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
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No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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