It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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