Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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