I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.