i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize