no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between