Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
Follow @tfln