Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.