I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.