Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."