Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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