why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
