Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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(616): View more from Michigan

whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

Fav 14 5512 1266
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan

Fav 10 6820 1207
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

Fav 15 2995 1514
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(301): View more from Maryland

When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?

Fav 4 1222 761
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.

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