I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
