so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
