she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
