Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
