I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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