Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i believe in u and ur pee
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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