Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
