Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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