i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
