You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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