I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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