I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
