dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My pussy is not your playground.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize