i can't believe i had my finger in that
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
