put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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