I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
