on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
