I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize