I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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