i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
my liver is dry heaving
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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