Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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