I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
