I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize