My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
