because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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