I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
