We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
