Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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