I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
