My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
God I need to hump something, right now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize