doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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