its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
