Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
