I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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