Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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