i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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