dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
