It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm passing your future prison.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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