At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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