Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize