Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
