remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
